discover my hangups/blame them on you

To Me:

I insist on the discovery of something “new”, I mean anything.  Sounds easy, seems like a natural activity.

The amount of discoveries already found, or invented, or claimed by another are just that. For example, the discovery of gravity, although very interesting and not to be undone or considered a lie is still just gravity. My point being, that the discovery of gravity has no bearing on what we can discover on our own.  (dear reader feel free to disagree with me) just remember I am writing this for me and no one else.

What I love about discovery is you can take it, claim it as your own, and then either prove it or disprove it.

Most problematic is the original idea. What have I discovered? Has someone else already found this same idea? If they have come up with the same idea…may I meet them please and see if they want to fuck (I mean compare thoughts).

I rack my brain and I can’t think of any original thoughts that I might have had in recent years, but who knows what kind of worlds I spun in my childhood. (Well I do, at least some of them).

My childhood is gone. In it’s place is the age I am now; here I discover truth, pain, and love in a way, but not in all ways; meaning love is subjective.

At the beginning of this little opinion I insisted on a new discovery, no excuses, no giving up.

Here is my discovery:

Personal discovery:  My body is changing in ways I thought would never happen. When I was young, I swore my body would be forever perfect. (not saying I was perfect by the United States chart of perfection) but my bones didn’t move, poke out, teeth didn’t fall out and my eyes didn’t change every year. Plus mentally wow, the older I get the crazier shit i believe will happen at any given moment.

Wanna know why?  It is all about life experience. The more pain, sorrow, jail time, abuse, bullying, and being shunned by society you receive, the more your body, mind, and soul soak it in. With me it produced fear, anxiety, anger and a need to be on the defensive.

I love to hide. I love to be alone. Which leads to another discovery.

People in general need other people around them. The social climate, the conversations, the relating to common problems and solutions bring humans together.

Here is the kicker…watch your shin…

I call my discovery “leave me alone” discovery. This discovery is blown out of the water by everyone I discuss it with and although they have a point, their point serves only to poke them in the eye.

Fact:  I am living proof of a non acceptable person in this society.

I remember my first encounter with my grade school “peers”, it was pure confusion that became horror and then I found my shell and tried my damnedest to hide there.

This discovery is longer than I want so I will say this:

Of these bullies or hottie totties who treated me like I was less than human, I feel you might have had your own troubles at home which you expressed by tormenting others.  Guess What? I would still knock your teeth in if I had the chance, because I think you deserve it. And honestly I feel 50% of you were not abused but you were just plain fucking mean and I would bury you in a hot second.

I am the great wasted mind who will keep thinking of things needing my discovery.

I have to know why, I want to understand why an egg and a sperm meet and form a human being. And then why that human being? And then why those parents? And then why the hate? And then why the chaos? So many questions in my mind, and I don’t care if anyone else cares about these things. I love when someone else does though.

My discoveries come through answers, not ignorance. Or perhaps vice versa.

Why do humans hate? How do humans claim love? Honestly, you can’t love the hate and hate the love. All the fucked up bullshit, in my book, in your book is a different read. Does that mean you or I need to physically harm another for not coming to the same discovery that we claim for our own?

Note: I wrote this 2 months ago, but it is now I feel like daring to share it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

prove it

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Dragging Yourself Home

My last post by ifiweremeagain was about drug withdrawals.

Since then my mind had been a blank black hole.

What to say? What to write? What to contribute?

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Dragging Yourself Home

You no longer lay beside the road hoping for a rescue.

There will be no liberation for the addict I assure you.

You may find some steps to help you through each day,

or you may just find a fix and call it good and down you lay.

 

Condemned aka I should have known

Spies disguised as virtual forms.
Please enter your information.
Data collected and analyzed.
Now you will burn, in hell, for being yourself.

Don’t play innocent, they don’t care,
the spies hiding behind the computers.
Spies? What spies?
The ones with eyes on everyone.

Programming your life in front of your face;
yet behind your back; with your permission.
Lack of deceit in your heart and a promise of freedom
and now you are condemned by them.

 

Photograph by BLT

My Opinion – Kratom, U.S. Government, Right to Choose

Some in our United States government are such control freaks they won’t stop until everyone is forced to break some law.

What do I mean?

Take for example this:

On Friday of last week, Sen. Chuck Grassley of Iowa, and Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California, dropped a bill in the U.S. Senate that our lobbyists believe can give the FDA and DEA a backdoor way of banning kratom completely in the United States.

S. 1327 is euphemistically called the SITSA Act. And a companion bill in the US House of Representatives has already been filed, H.R. 2851, by Representative John Katco of New York. The SITSA Act stands for the “Stop Importation and Trafficking of Synthetic Analogues Act of 2017.”

SITSA creates a new “Schedule A” that gives the Attorney General of the United States the broad power to ban any “analogue” of an opioid that controls pain or provides an increase of energy.

Because kratom’s 2 primary alkaloids, mitragynine and 7-hydroxymitragynine, though not opioids, act similarly, our concern is that they could use this legislation to justify a ban. 

reference https://www.americankratom.org/copy-of-contact

These senators keep trying to make new laws to fit what they think is “legal” behavior. This is so frustrating for anyone who believes in free choice without prosecution by the government.

I have used Kratom for a number of years and Kratom provides an option for people who don’t want to or can’t afford to buy into prescription drugs for pain, depression, withdrawals and much more.

Before choosing sides, be informed about the facts when it comes to the Kratom leaf.

Read the testimonials from the people who use Kratom daily and swear by it’s healing properties.

This new law is another attempt to control, us, the people of the United States, and I oppose it.